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If It Doesn't Serve

November 05, 2024

Tara Butler Floch, PCC, CPCC

Right out of college, I took a job at a major publishing house in the children’s book production department in lieu of another offer in an adult editorial department because of my love of children’s books and illustrations, and more importantly because it paid a whopping $1,000 more a year, which in 1993 and in the world of publishing was a big deal! When I told my other potential boss about my decision, she warned me about my new boss’s reputation as a “tyrant.” At the time, I questioned her motivation and thought she was simply upset that I had turned down the role. Unfortunately, she was spot on. 

My new boss was brilliant, and I learned a ton from her about children’s book production. But I also spent a lot of time in the bathroom, locked in a stall, crying. She had reactive tendencies and frequently yelled about something or someone, and when her laser beams were pointed at me, it was downright painful. I worked hard, tried to stay out of the fray, and persevered as many Gen Xers like me were taught to do and, thankfully, got promoted six months later (much to my boss’s chagrin) to work for two amazing women who were both wonderful bosses.

When my boss and I interviewed candidates to replace me, she said to the final candidate, “Some people say I can be difficult, but Tara has been great because she never took anything personally.” I nearly fell off my chair. For one, she had the awareness that she was difficult, and two, she assumed that it didn’t impact me. It was a huge ah-ha and turning point for me. First and foremost, I learned that my “grin and bear it” stance was not only a disservice to me but also to her. By giving her the impression that her behavior didn’t bother me, she justified not changing her “difficult” behavior and assumed that it did no real harm. And I suffered in silence while looking for any possible exit without burning a bridge. At the time, I thought that was what I had to do and that speaking truthfully would not make a difference and only risk retaliation. Also, I was her fourth assistant in two years. Surely, the company and she both knew her difficultness was, well, difficult, keeping the recruiting department busy at a big cost. Clearly, tolerating this bad behavior had major consequences not just for me, but also for the organization, staff, and my former boss, and yet the cycle continued unchecked. 

I have a saying “If it doesn’t serve, it doesn’t serve.” When we act in service of someone or something else and it doesn’t serve us, it doesn’t serve anyone. This was a prime example. In hindsight, I realized that it was a disservice to us both for me to grin and bear it, but I did the best I could with the tools I had at the time. 

In my coaching calls, clients frequently feel conflicted because they are faced with a choice to do something “in service” to someone or something that doesn’t feel right. So many of us were programmed to say “yes” and to put our own needs aside for the “greater good.” But is that really in service? As an example, a leader may be asked to take on a project that “only you can do” but comes at a huge personal price, requiring them to travel extensively away from their family and work tirelessly for the next five months, in addition to managing their team and other job responsibilities. It might seem clear that this doesn’t serve the individual, but feels pretty tricky when you are in it, right?  But if it doesn’t serve that leader, does it actually serve the company?

When employees feel pushed to do work that they don’t want to do, even if they’ve agreed to it, what is the impact if they are not “all in” and committed on an emotional level? How does that lack of desire and commitment affect engagement? Retention? Results? Profits? I feel that the adverse effects far outweigh the perceived benefits. Forbes reports that the value of engagement is significant; companies with engaged workforces are at least 21% more profitable(1), after all.   

And yet, we see this in action all the time—when we make a personal sacrifice in service to someone or something and we just push through. Or we turn around and demand that of our people. Does this constant cycle of override and pushing really serve? I believe it’s a major contributor to our epidemic of burnout.  According to Vox, 43% of corporate workers are currently experiencing burnout.(2) That’s right, nearly half of our corporate workers.

What got us here is not going to get us where we want to go. We see the breakdowns all around us. For starters, young people entering the workforce reject the “Just Do It” mentality that we wholeheartedly embraced in the 80s when Nike dubbed the term. They already get that if it doesn’t serve them, it doesn’t serve, as brazen and challenging as that may feel to boomer, Gen X, and “geriatric” millennial leaders who were taught the importance of “earning your dues” (code words for doing things we don’t want to do). And we are also, alarmingly, seeing rising numbers of seasoned employees and leaders opting out of a corporate system that they feel no longer serves them (again, if it doesn’t serve, it doesn’t serve). This is a huge indication that if we don’t create corporate cultures in which our employees can thrive, our companies and economy are not going to thrive in the long term either.

The great news is that companies who are intentional about creating corporate cultures where employees are engaged and thriving outperform their competitors by a whopping 147%(3). Because when employees thrive, it serves everyone. Engaged employees perform at a much higher level, and that in turn serves leaders, shareholders, customers, and the organization.

Inquiries to consider:

  • How does it impact me when I say “yes” to something that doesn’t serve me but is in service to someone or something else?
  •  How can I use the concept “If it doesn’t serve, it doesn’t serve” in my role as a leader? In my work? In my life?
  1. Devalekar, Anish. “Why High Employee Engagement Results In Accelerated Revenue Growth.” Forbes, July 14, 2021. 
  2. Molla, Rani. “Burnout was supposed to get better. It hasn’t.” Vox. Oct. 20, 2022. 
  3. Devalekar, Anish.

A seasoned Speaker, Leadership Coach, Mentor and Writer, Tara passionately shares her thought leadership and messages of inspiration. Since 2000 when she sprouted her entrepreneurial wings, Tara has coached and mentored hundreds of talented Leaders and Leadership Coaches to create an even larger ripple effect of change in the world. As a former Executive of three companies, Tara knows all too well the joys, challenges and responsibility that leaders hold in their hands. Learn more about Tara at www.broadviewcoaching.com.